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What To Do When Something's Beyond Your Control

Have you ever spent time and energy overthinking and worrying about something beyond your control?

As human beings, most of us would answer yes to this question.

At times, it seems that we are trapped in an endless cycle of anxious thoughts with no clear way to shift our thinking.

As a coach, I use a powerful tool to support my clients as they take action to shift their thought patterns. It's the concept of Acceptance.

What is Acceptance?

Acceptance is not necessarily agreement, approval or enjoyment of a certain situation. Acceptance is getting clear on the facts of what is and then finding ways to navigate the situation for yourself.

A simple example: If you're taking a commercial flight (I've never flown in a private jet!) you know that you must get to the airport at least two hours before your scheduled departure to ensure you get through security and other long lines.

You know that if you get to the airport just 30 minutes before your scheduled flight, you will NOT make the flight (I have tried this!); they won't even let you through security.

So what do you do? You can get upset and frustrated, perhaps yell at the ticket agent. But no amount of anger will get you on that flight. In fact the more angry you get, the less likely it is that you will make your flight.

Typically we've all embraced the concept of Acceptance and take action to ensure we arrive at the airport at least two hours early. Do we like this? No, but we understand it is beyond our control and we navigate the situation to make our flights.

Acceptance is about giving up the struggle with what is, even when it's hard and uncomfortable.

When we stop fighting reality and practice the willingness to be with the truth of a situation, we can then bring curiosity and openness to experiences that our minds tell us are intolerable.

By giving up the fight with what we cannot change or control, we find the opportunity to invest our energy, time, resources, thoughts and actions into what we can control.

Consider these 3 questions when you have a pervasive thought or persistent worry:

  1. Is this something within my control?

  2. What actions within my realm of control can I take to move toward my desired outcome? Want to learn more about Acceptance and how you can apply in your own life?

  3. What is beyond my control and how can I practice Acceptance?

We often experience big emotions with this process, so take time to acknowledge your feelings and give them space to just be, without trying to suppress or change them.

Want to learn more about Acceptance and how you can apply in your own life?

Give those questions a try and let me know what you think and how I can support you in this process.

I love supporting clients as they explore ways to bring Acceptance into their lives and almost immediately begin to experience more ease and joy everyday!

And I can do that for you as your coach. Let’s chat and explore what’s right for you.


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